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"Then she asked, “Do you know what believe really means?..."
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As a youngster I had no trouble believing in God. I had followed my parents and other family members to church and enjoyed taking part in school processions and Saints feast days. I loved ceremonies (the pomp & ceremonies) and looking back, maybe that is what kept my attention. I believed God was mighty and holy involved in big heavenly things – important worldwide events but could He be interested or concerned with my little insignificant life – I wanted to believe that but I just wasn’t sure.
During that time in my life my family were going through many problems. My Father died suddenly and life for us was a whole lot different. Older family members had turned away from the church saying it was irrelevant and meaningless – they didn’t believe anymore but I vowed in my young life that I wouldn’t do that – I wanted to believe.
Some time later one of the churches in Dun Laoghaire held a Christian film week outreaching into the community and I felt drawn to go along. I had read about the life changing conversion of Cliff Richard, and I was a big fan, and I was curious to find out what was behind it all. I spoke to one of the organisers later who asked me “Are you a believer?” Yes, I knew that I was. Then she asked, “Do you know what believe really means?”
To trust in, rely on and adhere to. She turned to the Scriptures, something I had never done, and showed me passages that pointed to a God who loved me enough to die on the Cross for my sin, in my place – a God who gave Himself for me and loved me more than anyone else could, a God who wanted so much to be a real part of my everyday life and who wanted to take over the reigns, or the driving seat in my life and all I needed to do was to let Him, ask Him. I acknowledged those facts that night although I didn’t fully understand all of them. I asked Jesus to be in my life. I opened the door to Him and I went home from that film night clutching a new Bible and an invitation to a young peoples Bible study.
As the following months passed I had a newfound hunger to learn more about the Lord. I searched the Scriptures and memorised verses and with God’s help started to live my life in line with what the Bible said. I remember one night, close to Christmas, as I read my Bible before going to sleep. I was overwhelmed by the realisation of what Jesus had given up for me, what He had sacrificed because of His love for me – there’s an old hymn that said – “Was it the nails, O Saviour, that held thee to the tree? No twas Thine everlasting love, Thy love for me, for me.”
That must be more than 30 years ago since I prayed that prayer of faith and I’ve never regretted it. In those intervening years there’s been some really tough times, including a period of illness & constant pain and instead of weakening my faith, those things have strengthened it to a point where I can truly say I’m not afraid of anything and I trust Him for everything - and I don’t say that lightly.
The God who to me was once far away in heaven is now a very personal Lord, someone I love to be near to, to talk things over with, to ask advice of and to be in partnership with.
This old hymn “In Heavenly love abiding” sums up my thoughts now…
“In heavenly love abiding, no change my heart shall fear, and safe is such confiding, for nothing changes here. The storm may roar about me, my heart may low be laid, but God is round about me, how can I be dismayed? Wherever He may lead me, no want shall turn me back, my Saviour is beside me, so nothing I can lack. My hope I cannot measure, my path to life is free, my Saviour has my treasure and He will walk with me.”
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